Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Randomize
