My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
