Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
