$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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