I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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