I want to stick my p in your. b.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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