I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
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