why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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