turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
