every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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