i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
