We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
My pussy is not your playground.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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