I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
