My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
