I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
