Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
