Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
