After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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