she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
