Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(229): View more from Georgia

It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.

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(419): View more from Ohio

when I sang my humps to you I meant it.

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(772): View more from Florida

You took a bar mat shot.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?

(312): View more from Illinois

I get to be your mom.

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(360): View more from Washington

Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...

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(630): View more from Illinois

So what's going on?

(1-630): View more from Illinois

We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.

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(210): View more from Texas

I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.

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(206): View more from Washington

too bad burritos don't cuddle back

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(720): View more from Colorado

My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...

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