new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
stop calling my apartment porn island.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
