brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
