i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
