Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
