The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
