i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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