dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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