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I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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