I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
