Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Sorry about my life...
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
