You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
