i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
