Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
How's work?
Spinning.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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