Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
