Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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