Where is the hickey?
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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