And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
