so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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