I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
