No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
