you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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