i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
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