weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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