Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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