I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
