my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
