what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
should my penis look like a turkey
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
