I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
