Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
