There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
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