Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
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