i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
