There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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