Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
