Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
