Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
