Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Randomize
