How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
