Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
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