This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
