Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
