doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize