Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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