don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
