32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
