I heard we made out
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
