He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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