I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
