Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
