how can u be prego again
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
