i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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