It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
my being single is dangerous.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
All I want is dick and wine.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize