Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry quagmire_69 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(513): View more from Ohio

Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'

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(770): View more from Georgia

and technically it was a rebound

(407): View more from Florida

so lol

(770): View more from Georgia

and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game

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(740): View more from Ohio

she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera

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