Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
