Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
did you just send me my own nude
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize